"Hey Boss, can I ask you something? When you call me buddy, it really lands weird on me. In the case of u/wemetroids, it could be resolved in a matter of minutes if the situation doesn't grow into a big thing. In some cases, an attack IS an attack, but more often, it's a perceived attack based on prior trauma/life experience and assumpton making. To me it's interesting to see how the default response for humans is to fight be back when we feel hurt. If that's happening, it's worth reporting or tackling. It can definitely be a form of bullying if the speaker is trying to diminish others. Meditation helps with that sort of stuff. I'm laughing at myself for being sensitive about a word. Why does it hurt you? Do you have a history of having to fight to be heard?įor me, women calling me "honey" is a trigger because even though I support women and agree they should be equal to men, a part of me wants to feel stronger than a woman, and the word "honey" is what my mom would call me when I was a child so I feel diminished when I'm called "honey".īut I also understand that the woman calling me "honey" is most likely not trying to put me down, it's just a word she uses.īy bringing awareness to me emotional response, I can see things clearer and let go of that trigger. Is your boss doing smth to put you in your place? Can you agree that "buddy" in itself is not condescending and that the trigger you feel is your personal emotional response, not an objective truth? Is the word "buddy" inherently condescending? Is there a power struggle with your boss? I get triggered by women calling me "honey" though :)Īsk yourself why it bothers you. Personally, I like the word "buddy" from my boss who is my age. Places to talk about relationships and dating: Places to talk about emotional health issues: If that doesn't yield satisfactory results, then post.Ĭontact the mods only through the Message The Mods link Thread Filters: You do NOT need to ask a question to post a new thread on AskMenOver30ĭo a search of the sub before you ask your question. Women are completely welcome to fully participate. People under 30 are welcome if they are on board with keeping the discussion relevant to the over 30 crowd. Top level commenters must be flaired users. The Rules Please Choose Flair About AskMenOver30ĪskMenOver30 is a place for supportive and friendly conversations among over 30 adults.
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